20 Days old puppies

After a female dog (I don’t like the word “bitch”) got pregnant. She will take approximately 60 days before she conceived.
Once she gave birth to her puppies. The puppies will naturally look for milk from her mother. The puppies take approximately 10 days before they open their eyes. At this time of time, their ears are not fully developed yet. It will take few more days before you can see developed ears. They will start crawling and learn to walk around 15 days…..
It is so amazing that these little lives grow up naturally.

At the 20 days old. These puppies got big head and smaller body..... So cute

A letter from one of my best friend

Shiau Hwee wrote me a letter.....

写给我一个好朋友的信

最近我有一位很好的朋友在人生道路上遇到的瓶颈。　

很想很想打电话好好的和你谈谈，后来放弃了这个念头，　因为我一直想找最好的方法让你解决现在的问题，而直接通过电话对话绝对不是一个好方法。

当然，我写这封信的原因，不是要告诉你我有多Support你现在的做法，　也不是要告诉你我有多不赞成你现在的做法，　我只是希望你知道，　无论你有什么选择，身为你好朋友的我，愿意支持你的勇气与想法。我常常想站在你的角度去想想你的想法，　但是每个人都是不同的个体，这是永远没办法达到的事情。

自己也乘经经历过你现在所经历的一切。　我可以了解在中国审计事务所所遇到的工作压力，在马来西亚所遇过的都是不一样，是完全的不一样。当然其中有苦有乐，　爸爸常常和我说，在你得到一些事情的同时，　你就会失去另一些东西，但是其实是无所谓的，　最重要的就是享受与学习过程。这句话扶持了我在上海两年的生活。　　　

哈哈，说到怂恿你来中国的人，我肯定是其中一个吧。在你的博客中，你说你常常的被别人影响，所以这次我选择性的变成听众，而不是急于给Advice你的朋友。　你现在在大马遇到的问题，都是我在休假的时候听过至少千次的问题；为什么要回来啦，为什么要放弃中国的工作啦，为什么，为什么。。。但是其实你我心里都很清楚，　这些人的问题其实你可以一笑而过，也可以很认真地回答他们的问题，　在回答的过程中也不需要这么认真。Ah Loke乘经警戒过我们，　这是其中一个我们从选择要到中国工作所要面对的问题。不是每个人多可以有经验体会我们现在所体会的，因此他们的不明白我们也不需要太在意，　毕竟每个人的经历与机遇是完完全全的不一样。就是因为神的创意，才有我们这些人在凡间，可以在一定的选择范围中抉择自己要走的道路。

我一直都发觉到你从北京回大马后，就变得很恍惚和情绪变得不稳定。当然我没有见证你的心路历程，所以我也一直停留在你很负面的一面。因此我也一直都很担心你的状况。你常说你不是一个善于用语言来表达你的想法，后来，我怂恿你写博客，是希望你可以通过此途径好好的想想前方要走的路。最近，你想转行，想放弃你的老本行，　但是却觉得很伤心，　是因为身边没有一位朋友支持你，或者是说，　你几乎觉得你所有的朋友都不是真心诚意地支持你。针对这个话题，我也和你在ＭＳＮ上也聊了很久。也是因为ＭＳＮ的原因，不能完完全全的感觉你的情绪，所以也没说太多，　想必你需要的勇气已经大的可能让你有点喘不过气来了，我也不想在加重你的压力。　

昨天在新旺吃饭的时候，我突然间记起以前的情景。记得我一直在作思想徘徊的时候，每一天都过得很痛苦。 心里真的很希望可以有人替我作选择，要选择真的太累了。那时的我， 心里乘经一度很埋怨我的好朋友，我在想为什么他们都没来告诉我他们的想法，为什么就任由我在迷茫的道路上徘徊呢？后来想深一层，其实他们能为我做什么呢？大家都有自己的问题和疑问。前方的路太过多未知数了。 除了支持我的现行选择以外，也真的只有支持了， 虽然不是每个人都会同意你的做法，但是我知道只要我需要他们， 他们都会很愿意在我身边，聆听我的问题。谢谢你， 我的好朋友。这样已经很足够了。

我没有Ｔｊ这么会善用词句来表达现在的心情。　但是我一直想和你说的，无论是什么抉择，你朋友我们会在你身边支持你，　衷心衷心的支持。当你需要聆听的耳朵， 我的耳朵永远为你而留。当你走向前方的路，碰到奇难杂症，我们一块去解决。好吗？你的问题就是我的问题。　希望你明白。　

愿你有个美好的将来。

晓慧

"Forever in Love"

I have been playing this piece of song named “Forever in Love”. If u have watched “Sleeping with an Enemy” or you have heard its sounds track. Sure you will fall in love with this song. I am not that crazy for piano until I got this piece from my piano teacher. I will practice my piano at 11.30pm. It does make me feel good.

The link for this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LYjusrFXjs&mode=related&search=

My Profession (Part II)

Friends have been giving me concrete opinion on what I am going to do. Some of them really worries about me or don’t see the reason why I want to forego my profession. A lot of them think that foregoing my profession mean that I am foregoing big money, reputable MNC, big bonus, ESOS….

Somehow, I know my friends care about me that is why they need me to think clearly what I am about to do. No one knows me more than I do. I am looking for a job that interests me. I don’t want to wake up in the morning and start to hate what I am going to do for the day. I dare not say being a consultant in recruitment will be my lifelong job. At least this is something that I have been thinking to do in a year ago.

You need courage to make a change in life. And I have this courage to do so at this moment. Courage to step out from my comfort zone and seek for what I want. Of course this courage has to support by some back up capital.

I am not trying to escape from anything. I am just looking for my interest. People might think I am not realistic enough. Somehow, I live my own life. I am old and mature enough to bear the consequences for my decision. I know exactly what i am doing now and what i am going to forego. But why no one will ever think of what i am going to get in my coming days? Only Teck Jin mention those. His words really relief me.

I am not forcing all of you to be agreeable. I just need your support and some encouragement. Not a support with doubt, but support from your heart.

My Profession (Part 1)

Is it advisable for me to change my profession? This is a question that bothering me for more than a year. It is time to have a serious thought.

Why this question has came across my mind and it become an issue to me? I have been spending time, effort and money to develop my profession. CPA Australia, MIA, Master in Finance, Bachelor of Commerce (Majoring in Accounting & Finance) and 5.5 years as an auditor. This question became more obvious when I was working in Beijing. My strengths and weaknesses became more apparent. The fact I need to admit is I am not sensitive to figures. Number crunching, sporting issues are definitely not my strength. When these competencies became more demanding as I work my level up, I found myself having difficulties in catching up. Then I realized if I can’t nurture any interest in this field, definitely it can’t become my strength. Still remember during a interview session for a corporate finance position, I was asked whether I read any of the finance magazines like The Age. The answer was clear cut, NO. Come to think about it when I am doing my “business” in the toilet. Finance magazines? Unless there is news that interest me, a superb recipe for a dish, or a crochet piece that I long looking for…. Ha ha ha……

If I am pretty sure accounting is not my interest and strength. Then what am i looking for? May be I shall ask myself, what are my strengths?

Foregoing my profession on the other hands implied that I am foregoing a better pay job. Mom keeps objecting my decision. She thinks it is a waste as I am not practicing my profession and I need to face a pay cut. I know I have car loan, insurances and other fixed monthly expenses to pay. A pay cut does not mean that I will fail to meet my own commitment and obligation, just that I need to have a better planning and management for my own financial. It does not sound too bad after all.

Job satisfaction. I know I am not going to gain any job satisfaction even if I were getting a lucrative pay to become an accountant or finance manager. This is apparent when I am in Beijing. I am getting an expatriate package. But I only gain minimal job satisfaction. I do understand that not everyone love their current position. But if I have a chance to choose a job I like, why not give it a try? It does not sound too bad after all.

I was offer with this position, Consultant in Executive search. Hon Ling posted me this question. What if I found this is not my field of interest? Changing my profession at this moment does not mean that I am buying a one way ticket to hell. Life is full of opportunities, it depends on how you value and appreciate it. There is always a way out at the end of the day. It does not sound too bad after all.

I am in my comfort zone?
Resistant to change because I am afraid to face the coming challenge?
Somehow, I know myself will grow better and stronger with a right amount of pressure.

Insomnia

Trying to get my beauty sleep in an hour ago. What has it to be a sleepness night for me? Too many things in my head at the moment, it is too active to get my brain to rest.
What are the reasons? Is it i am happy because i get to meet up with Rebecca and Hon Ling? It is the 1st episode of the Korean series i watch around 11pm? Or the Ghost Whispers by Jennifer Love Hewitt that reactivate my brain just before i felt sleepy? Or is it a guy sent an sms that i dont expect to receive? or is it my back pain? I know is a combination of everything....

I know there are too many nonsense in my head that i need to filter it on and off.
I have been thinking lately what is pulling me back to look for something that i want in life. I know things are not always as perfect as we want it to be. But i know we have to make our effort to make it happen. Opportunities are out there for us to graps as it wont drop from the sky.

I know my weakness at the moment. Is to face myselft. If and only i can face myself, knowing the true me, knowing my potential. I will have the courage to face my future. No matter it end up good or bad.

Life is a bit complicated than i thought sometimes. I have a well known attitude as 双重性格. Is just like a devil and an angel beside your ears. Telling you what to do. Is not harmful, but it could be rather confuse when myself is down....

Tomorrow morning is another bright and sunny morning. A sunny side up with a toast will a great breakfast to start my day.

I think my sleeping pil is taking effect now. Getting dizzyyyyy....

Good night and sweet dreams to all of you....

20072007

A special double match date. Zoe reminded me about this date. She wishes me a double happiness.

Sometimes it is rather easy to stay happy in a day. Friends be there when i needed them, be there when i need someone to listen. And of course, it has to be a stress free day.

The difficult things is to forget something that i try to hide my feeling from. The only remedy for this is the time factor again.

欲速则不达

I have been trying to understand and appreciate the meaning behind this pharse "欲速则不达".

I know i am someone who get tense and worried easily. The more worried i am, the more i want to get something done quickly. When something cannot be done in the way i want it to be. I will start putting a lot of assumptions and predictions on that event which it could be out of my control. Patient could be one of the factor that i need to master. I have to learn to control my emotion by having a patient heart. Together with the "time" effect. I know i will done well.

Time heals..... Yes, it is proven, time do heal.

欲速则不达

Turn Back Time

I have been reviewing the decision that i have made lately. I realised there are some decisions i have made previously were made under the influence of others, or i am not in the position to made those decision because i was confuse at that moment.

If i were given a chance to turn back time, i know the exact decision that i want to unwind that will change my life. However, i also clearly know that there is no such thing as turn back time. What i have do to is to face the consequences for the decision i made and make the best of it so that it will turn into a brighter future.

Life is full of choices. But how to grab the opportunity among the choices is a matter of luck, decision, hard work..... I have foregone some opportunities. I do hope that i am not going to be punished because i have forgone those opportunities.

Lets pray for a brighter future......

Questions i hate to answer

Since i am back from Beijing. Friends have been asking me the two questions that i hate most:
1) Why you are back in KL?
2) What kind of jobs you are looking for now?

I am not sure what kind of answer they are expecting from me. A simple answer? or a full story of the reason i decided to come back to KL?

What kind of jobs i am looking for? If they know the jobs that i am looking for, is it meant that they can get me a job? or they will feel better after knowing it? Stop asking for the sake of asking! It would not get you to anywhere after asking these sort of questions.

Teck Jin is the most understandable friend among all. I met him in msn after i came back from Beijing. I still remember clearly the first thing he said. He said he is not going to ask me what is my coming plan nor why i am back, because he knows i have been answering these sort of questions on the day i landed in KL. How thoughtful he is.

Somehow, i know i have to keep answering these 2 questions.

Those who ask me, please pray that i am in good mood. Or else i will tell you off. Even i am in good mood. I will tell you off politely or i will answer in as:
1) Because i want to come home
2) Still looking around

我的播客

Created my blog for the first time. Shiau Hwee said, it is a way that i can “整理我的思绪”“面对自己”and most importantly, I can have my memory stored.