Last time I don’t really understand when people talk about the feeling of pre-wedding, now I kind of understand and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
The sense of insecure is something that bothers me. I will tend to compare now and last time. Why he do this last time and not now? Since he don’t do this now, will he become worse after we married? Why man can’t just maintain the way they treat their partner? I am drilling into details lately. Is he my Mr. Right? Is he the correct one? Am I going to spend my life with him? I get a little bit confuse. Am I thinking too much? Am I asking too much? I am really scared something bad will happen to me? Something bad that will ruin my wedding…the something bad is the inner me and confusing me lately…Few more days left before my Register of Marriage. Am I making the right choice? Grrrrr……Hate this feeling... the feeling is bad because it is calling me to pull the break....I am really scared.
I don’t expect him to read my blog and know my feeling through my blog. Because I know when the whole world has access to my blog or came across my blog, he is the only one will not read my blog and don’t even keep it as a “Favorite” unless I force him to read. The reason being he claimed he knows everything because I wrote about my daily life and he spent that with me. Not entirely true. He don't spent my inner me with me.
I think the only thing i can tell myself now is: 理想和现实，永远是两回事，知足常乐...
CONFUSE!!!!
2 comments:
Well, as many people say, before deciding marriage, Keep Both Eyes wide open to observe and insist on change, after marriage, just close one eye and accept.
It might be difficult to give same treatment to our spouse before and marriage sometimes, hence I treated my wife without any exaggeration before marriage, just plain old me. And after marriage, she found out that I had much more to offer when before marriage. At least she finds me humorous after marriage.
Well, take some time to observe before marriage, just keep it to your self when observation, decide when the time is right.
Have a faith.
The more you think, the more confussion you will get. At this moment, 既来之，则安之咯.
I will :X for married life :P
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